You don’t have to be interesting. You have to be interested.
John Gottman
Recently, the New York Times published an article predicting what dating will look like in a post-pandemic world.
If you’re currently dating (or contemplating it), you might feel overwhelmed by the changing landscape of factors to consider.
But, as it turns out:
Many things haven’t changed at all.
Read on for 8 timeless truths about dating:
1. Communication is everything.
Getting clear on your needs is often tricky enough. Communicating those needs effectively can be next-level challenging. And yet, from the moment you meet someone new, communication is at the center of relationship-building. Thankfully, it’s a skillset that improves with practice!
2. Boundaries are essential.
When we’re focused on connection, putting up any sort of barrier might seem counterintuitive. But, healthy boundaries are essential to our functioning as individuals, whether or not we’re in a dating relationship. Learning to establish, communicate, reinforce, and negotiate boundaries is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and the person you’re dating.
3. Conflict is inevitable.
Maybe your past experiences have trained you to avoid conflict. Or perhaps conflict seems to follow you wherever you go. Whatever your relationship with conflict looks like, it’s a good idea to adopt a neutral perspective, viewing it as an opportunity to deepen your understanding of yourself and your partner.
4. Digital is valid.
We have more ways than ever before to meet new people. And while online dating can present some unique challenges to navigate, it’s no less authentic than meeting in person. As with so many things in life, it all comes down to the intention we bring to the experience.
5. Mindfulness is attractive.
It’s been said that attention is one of the hottest commodities around. (Why else would advertisers focus so much effort on capturing it?) By grounding yourself in the present moment and offering your undivided attention, you’ll be unleashing one of your most natural powers of attraction.
6. Quality time is a collaboration.
Whether you’re just getting to know each other or celebrating years together, the fact remains: Quality time doesn’t just happen. Treat it like the shared responsibility it is and commit to making dates a priority.
7. Vulnerability is inviting.
It’s a risk, no question. If you’ve experienced pain, rejection, or betrayal in past relationships, it makes sense that you’ve developed an instinct to self-protect. But, so much of the intimacy that characterizes healthy relationships is born out of the vulnerability we show one another.
8. Support is available.
No matter what your relationship status is at the moment, there’s always a place for you in therapy. Real, lasting change is possible when we take calculated risks to learn and grow. And we’re here to meet you in that process, whenever the timing’s right for you!
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Mindful Goal-Setting
25 Mindfulness Ideas to Try this Year
Habit Change in 3 Easy(-ish) Steps
Could you use some extra support?