This post was inspired by a request from a reader! If there’s a particular topic or question you’d like us to cover on the blog, we’d love to hear from you.
So, you’ve been going to therapy. And you’re thinking of telling somebody about it.
But, what do you say? And how much should you share?
Bottom line: It’s up to you.
Today we’re sharing our advice on how to tell someone you’re in therapy:
1. Know that you don’t have to.
There’s no shame in seeking therapy– in fact, it’s a reflection of strength, openness, and courage. And yet, it’s a personal decision, and one that you’re under no obligation to talk about. You’re also not obligated to share the same amount of information with everyone you tell, or tell everyone in the same way. It’s worth taking some time to reflect before choosing to tell someone you’re in therapy. Your therapist can even help you with this reflection process, to decide what makes the most sense for you.
2. Consider your goal.
Are you looking for support from a friend or family member? Trying to help de-stigmatize the process of therapy for someone else? Seeking time off work to make it to your appointments? Simply eager to share this part of your life with someone you care about? Getting clear about why you want to tell someone you’re in therapy can help you determine what, how, and with whom you share. For instance, if your goal is to connect with a friend who’s considering therapy, you might choose to share a bit more about your experience. If you’re seeking schedule flexibility to attend your sessions, you might choose to tell your employer, “I have a doctor’s appointment.”
3. Take the lead.
You can share as much or as little as you like when you tell someone you’re in therapy. But, it’s helpful if you drive the conversation, rather than waiting for the other person to. Without a clear sense of why you’re telling them, the other person might make assumptions, ask questions you’re not comfortable answering, or not say much at all. Not sure where to begin? Keep things brief and to the point, by saying, “I’ve been going to therapy. I wanted to let you know because… “.
4. Ask for what you need.
The choice to tell someone you’re in therapy can feel daunting, especially when you’re not sure how the other person will respond. One way you can help ease your nerves? Ask for what you need. Maybe it’s a listening ear. Maybe you need more practical help, like assistance accessing therapy. Whatever it is, asking for some type of support can not only help you feel empowered, but it’ll also invite the other person to take some kind of action. We all want to feel useful, so they’ll most likely be eager to help.
5. Suggest a next step.
Asking for what you need is a great note to land on when you tell someone you’re in therapy. But, what if you’re not sure what you need just yet? Offer some kind of next step for the other person to take. For instance, you could:
- Thank them for listening and invite them to ask how it’s going now and then (if you’re open to this).
- Direct them to a post on this blog or another resource (e.g., The Mighty) to learn more about therapy and what first brought you to it.
- If they express interest in trying therapy themselves, you can help them request an appointment.
You might be the hundredth person they’ve known who’s in therapy… or the first. Never underestimate the positive influence you could have on another person in your life, simply by choosing to tell them you’re in therapy.
This post was inspired by a request from a reader! If there’s a particular topic or question you’d like us to cover on the blog, we’d love to hear from you.
Enjoy this post? You might also like:
Therapy 101: When a Loved One Is in Therapy
Ready to try therapy for yourself?